The most amazing sisters a girl could have! Part 2

I am so blessed, not to just have one great sister, but TWO!! Luli was around 13 when I was born, and being the baby until I arrived, she probably wasn't the most thrilled to be waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of a crying infant. There is a story I have been told that she saved my life when I was just a wee bundle. The tale goes that I was sleeping, and she came in to check on me and found that I was nearly blue, almost suffocating. Well Luli, that was your chance.. LOL just kidding! In all sincerity, thank you thank you my adorable, just in the nick of time, baby-saving sibling!! My tone is a dead give away to the type of relationship I have with Luli. We are big dorks, always goofing off together!!

When I was a child, Luli was still in the middle of high school; and being quite the extrovert, she was more into her social life than her new, little, precious, drooling baby sister. She didn't waste any time either! When she was just 18, she met her soulmate and married him two years later at the tender age of twenty. Needless to say, while I was bonding with Monica, Luli was in her own world, and it wasn't until later in life that we would really have the chance to get to know each other. Even though we've always been at different stages in life, Luli was always supportive and proud of me as I went from childhood into adolescence. Before I moved to Florida, I would spend a lot of time in the summers and on weekends at her house in Pennsylvania playing with her husband's many, many nephews and nieces. Then, when I moved, it was my turn to be in my own little world of jr. high and high school. We started getting closer as I entered into my teen years and more as I neared my twenties, but it wasn't until I lived at her house for a little over a year that I really came to know the extent of her wonderfulness. After I studied and got my degree in Orlando, I moved back north looking to eventually be in New York City. Luli's house was nearest to the Big Apple, so guess where I ended up.. Yep, in the middle of the corn fields in the beautiful and picturesque, but desolate, Amish country of Lancaster County, PA. Living mostly in suburban areas and on the outskirts of large cities my whole life, being at my sister's rural abode was less than exhilarating, LOL. I had A LOT of time on my hands. But looking back, that was the best part because I spent it with Luli and the kids. Now about Luli...

Luli is truly lovely with her flawless, porcelain skin and her dark, almost black, spiral curls. Luli always jokingly called herself the "black" sheep of the family because she's the "forgotten middle child," but this is far from the truth. Always the life of the party, Luli has an innate charisma about her. People are just drawn to her, and with her welcoming and witty personality, she has never had a problem making tons of friends. Luli is very sensitive to those around her and accurately aware of their emotional states. She is genuinely empathetic, caring and compassionate. It amazes me how she can just look at my face or listen to the sound of my voice and know if I am discouraged or anxious about something. Without any questions, She quickly affirms me, " It's gonna be ok. Whatever your worry is.. It's not real, it's a lie. You are a mighty conqueror."

Luli loves the simple things of life, and those are usually the most important things anyways. She has a humble spirit and is quick to apologize when she is wrong or if just to keep the peace. On the other hand, with Luli everything is white or black, right or wrong; there is no in between with her, and though that drives me nuts sometimes, and we've had our disagreements, I respect her for that. She has so much patience, and it is never exhausted. She has been through many challenges including having a bright and intelligent son with a physical disability; and circumstances have caused the majority of the load of our mom's illness to rest on her shoulders. However, no matter how tired she may become from her daily duties as a wife and mother, she is always ready to run to mom's side whenever the need arises. Through it all, she never ever loses hope. Like me, she believes in miracles until the very end and beyond :)

Luli has her share of talent as well. She can draw as good or better than most of the art you may see at galleries. Although she has not cultivated her skill, it's there, and I hope someday she will use it more. Luli can make me laugh till I wanna pee in my pants. Sometimes, when she is in an extremely cheerful and goofy mood, she will bust out her "witch laughter" in playful jest. OMG!! It is sooo funny! She could make a living here in Hollywood doing witch laughter voice-overs, and she would be in high demand for it! I miss talking with her in our chipmunk voices while we cook dinner together, and the kids listen and giggle at us.

Like Monica, Luli is an exceptional wife and mother, devoted to God, her family and her community. She has a servant spirit and has been a blessing and help to many people, including to me. We have lifted each other up in times of sorrow; we have shared our fears with each other and helped one another deal with them and move past them.

Thank you Luli. Thanks for believing in me. Thanks for your encouraging words. Thank you for your prayers. Thanks for the care you give mom. Thanks for being a great example of the kind of woman I want to be. I love you and miss you tremendously.

The most amazing sisters a girl could have! Part 1

Sisters are knit from the same invisible material... Not just in their intricate, biological DNA; but in their deep, spiritual substance as well...

I am so thankful for my sisters!! Throughout my life, they have both been exceptional role models and dear friends. Being born while they were already in their teenage years had the benefit that I never really had the physical catfights with them that a lot of sisters have when they grow up together. Nope... I was like the spoiled brat baby that everyone pampered :) As close as all three of us have become, I have a unique relationship with each individual. Today, I will rave about Monica Raquel.

Aaaaah! Monica is as beautiful and as sophisticated as her name... Even more than that, she is a shining star. When my mom had me, Monica was barely 16, and she felt the need to help mom carry the responsibility of child rearing immediately, without anyone having to ask her. She was beyond my sister... She was my babysitter, my playmate, and I would say, my first friend. She would pick me up from and drop me off at school. She would take me on walks and we would bond as much as a little child and a blossoming young lady could. Being the eldest, Monica was my mother's helper and was always very sensitive to mom's hardships as a single parent. But that is just her nature... She always wants to lighten people's loads and, sometimes even to the point of her own personal detriment, she is willing to sacrifice her own wants and needs for those of others. Monica always helped mom by giving her her checks when she started working her first jobs and even after she got married. When mom suffered, Monica suffered; when she laughed, Monica laughed. This is not a sob story! LOL! There was and is plenty of joy, laughter and good times in our family, much much more than bad. My point is that Monica has a heart of gold, compassionate and giving.

It doesn't stop there! Monica is just as wonderful on the outside as on the inside. She has always been so gorgeous with her blond hair and green eyes, her perfectly pointed nose and ballerina figure. She took years of ballet, tap, and Flamenco; and when she would dance in front of me with her pretty dresses on, my soul would light up. Perhaps witnessing her talent was one of the first things that triggered a love for the arts in me. She had an oh so sweet, angelic singing voice and I wanted to sing like her. She loved Shakespeare and would recite Hamlet, Macbeth, and of course, Romeo and Juliet on regular basis. Haha! She even taught my nephew, her first son, some of the playwright's most famous lines, and the little tot would walk around somberly inquiring, "To be or not to be?.. That is the question. Whether it is nobler...." and on and on the articulated toddler would go. Monica has so many skills and talents, too many to list here!! She even paints magnificently! And, if you ever see her house, it's ridiculous how tastefully furnished and decorated it is, you'd think she hired an interior designer, but no... It's all her!

When I was 11, my mom and I moved to Florida. Monica was still in her early marriage years and had just had her baby boy. Although age and distance now separated us, my sisters were always routing for me, proud of my grades and accomplishments in school, and always a part of all my quintessential moments. Monica would write me cute, humorous letters that would have me laughing on the floor. I never wrote back because I was just a lazy kid about that sort of thing then; but I have kept those letters, and they were always special to me because they meant she hadn't forgotten about me even though she was busy making a family of her own. When I finally graduated high school, I went to live at Monica's house in Virginia for two years while I tried to "figure things out." It was like getting to know each other all over again. She wanted so badly to know everything about me, and I was a hot-headed teen that didn't know anything about life, but thought I knew it all! Ha! You know how that goes! My time there definitely did bring us closer now that I was older, and we could talk about the "birds and the bees," a subject I couldn't comprehend when I was the little girl she was helping to raise. Since then, I have lived other places, but our relationship has continued to grow. I admire her in so many ways, not just as a sister, but as an amazing woman, a faithful wife, a phenomenal mother, and a trusted friend. I have learned so much from her, from her devotion to God and her family, from her steadfastness in times of trial, and from her wisdom and hospitality. She has opened the doors of her house to so many people and showered them with attentions. She's like the energizer bunny, she keeps going and going, giving and giving! I can always share my heart with her and my concerns, and I know she will always love me. I don't ever have to be afraid of messing up around her. I will never forget the many times that, right before leaving to go to my gate at the airport, she has inconspicuously slipped a 100 dollar bill in my hand without me ever asking her for it; and as the tears rolled down my face in humbled gratitude and relief, she would smile and say "I love you and miss you." Nor will I cease to remember the facebook comments she has posted on my wall when I needed it most, encouraging me to keep dreaming and assuring me the day will come when I see those dreams realized.

Monica, you inspire me and I am forever grateful and blessed that you are my sister and you are in my life. For all you do and have done for me and our family, and for being the only person in the world like you, I thank and appreciate you. I love you Mini. XOXO

My Mother the Hero!

Good day everyone! My countdown begins today, and although there is no particular order to it, I must start with my mother. Today and everyday, I am so very grateful for and blessed to know my mother. Born in the South American country of Bolivia, my mom came to the United States in her late twenties in search of a better life and a better future for her two daughters, my older sisters, whom she left temporarily with our grandmother in Bolivia while she got on her feet in Washington DC. Educated in clerical administration, my mom found work as an executive secretary at the IMF, the International Monetary Fund, and then later at el BID, a Spanish acronym for the Inter-American Bank of Development, in DC. She soon brought her daughters from Bolivia to the States to join her. Another few years later, it was working at el BID that she met my father, and BAAM!! After spending some time dating, Yours Truly was conceived. Unfortunately, for what some would argue are good reasons or not, my mom and dad did not stay together; and that is a story I myself would not come to fully know the details of until just a couple years ago. So then, at the ripe age of 40, my mom began raising me with the help of my two wonderful sisters who were in their teens. For all the drama involved in my coming to existence, there was definitely not a lack of love; and although my mother may not have planned to have a child again that late in her life, I quickly became her joy and her whole world.

My mom didn't have much. Whatever little or greater amount of money she earned was for her daughter's livelihood. She always gave us the best clothes, food, shelter, and education that she possibly could. She took us to church every Sunday and instilled in us a reverence for God that is still very much at the center of our beings. For me, and I'm sure as well as for my sisters, she introduced God to me as a caring Father, not a big bully or distant deity, in efforts to fulfill the void of my biological father's absence. My mom didn't have the best father figure herself, and because of the abuse she suffered as a child, she never had a healthy self image or good self-esteem. But she didn't want that for me. She always told me I could do anything I dared, she always believed in me, and I know deep inside she always dreamed my sisters and I would have a better life than she did. She did have hidden fears that I have only come to understand now as I am experiencing adulthood, but when I was a kid.. she was FEARLESS! One of my favorite memories of her bravery was made when I was around 9 years old. My older sisters got married and up and left when I was just 6 years old, so from then on it was just my mommy and me and my nanny. Any ways, when I was about 9, we lived in a cul-de-sac of town homes, and all of the neighborhood kids including me were outside playing peacefully... when all of a sudden! A creepy man in an older model car pulled into the cul-de-sac and very slowly began driving around and observing the children at play. It was not a friendly stare, but more like a stalker, kidnapper stare LOL! All the mothers quickly started calling their precious children indoors to safe haven. They all secured their doors and proceeded to their windows to watch the eerie culprit as he continued to make his rounds. My mom called me in as well; however, she valiantly stepped into the street in her less than fashionable mu-mu to confront our villain. With outstretched arm and pointed finger, she turbulently scolded the threatening stranger, "What are you looking at you pervert!! Get out of here and don't ever come back!! I'm gonna call the police right now. Stay away from our children!!" The man, obviously alarmed and stunned by this crazy woman's ranting, quickly apologized with wide eyed stutters and left never to return again. Of course, my chest grew and my shoulders lifted as I beamed with pride. All the neighbors looked on with admiration, and I knew I was safe because I had the most courageous mother on the block. Haha!! I will never forget that, and sometimes I think, that on certain occasions, that's how I should take on the hardships of life: with outstretched arm and pointed finger and crazy ranting!

My mom moved us to South Florida when I was 11 years old. I graduated from high school there, and not sure what to do or where to go with my life and my talents, I moved around quite a bit before settling in Los Angeles. My mom went everywhere with me. As my biggest fan, she helped me so much emotionally, spiritually, and most of all financially. She gave me every cent she had, and as a stupid adolescent, I didn't really appreciate it or comprehend the immense measure of her generosity. Now, as I work hard to get ahead, I realize the tremendous sacrifice parents make for their children.. the tremendous sacrifices she made for me... but it was always worth it to her just to see me smile. After we lived in Los Angeles together for about a year, we realized we couldn't afford to live together anymore. She was retired and I was barely starting out. Her needs weren't being met and, at 25, I needed to get my life together and get a career going. She reluctantly and with a heavy heart moved back to live with my sisters and her grandchildren in their comfortable homes, but I know she would have preferred to stay with me. Within a year after she moved, she started to show signs of cognitive illness and, after many tests, the doctors diagnosed her with a rare form of dimentia. My only comfort is in knowing that my sister is right there, 10 minutes away, for anything that my sweet mommy may need. I talk to her on the phone, but it is difficult to communicate with her. Now, if there is any fuel that keeps me going, it is the desire to succeed.. for her... so that all that trust and faith she invested in me won't be disappointed. I know she knows how much I love her, but when things like this happen it is impossible to forget all the moments you wish you could take back. The dumb fights, the disagreements, the unloving times I raised my voice to her in foolish disrespect... all of that I wish I could exchange for expressions of my love, affection, gratitude, and never-ending appreciation for her. If you have read this far, I thank you for taking the time to learn about one of the most priceless beings ever to grace this earth - my mother Mary Jordan. And if you have loved ones that truly mean a great deal to you, don't ever tire of telling them how much you care. As we've all heard over and over again, tomorrow is not guaranteed and in the words of the popular song "Big Yellow Taxi" - "Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got till it's gone..." and that is a sorry way of living. So count your blessings with me and tell them so. Today and always, I am eternally grateful for the best mother the Creator could have ever given me. I love you mom.

BLESSING COUNTDOWN TO THE NEW YEAR

September has been the month from hell! From my mom being rushed to the emergency room at the beginning of the month.. to sentimental heartbreak.. to the very acute, personal acknowledgement of financial havoc, which always leads to.. the realization of how far you are from your career goals... Ever feel like there's not a single thing going right for you?? Yeah.. that was me this month. I must thank God I still have good health.. but science confirms that health becomes endangered by low emotional states, i.e. depression, anxiety, stress. The Bible says in Proverbs that "hope deferred makes the heart sick," and in chapter 17 verse 22 it says, "A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." Well, let's just say that I have been suffering an intense laughter drought and cheer has been MIA, so in a desperate attempt to keep my bones from drying and in order to keep my good health, I am creating this blog.

This past week, in the climax of my agony, I had three significant dreams, three nights in a row. The first night I dreamed of rainbows, and again of rainbows the second night. They were everywhere, and they kept popping up from the earth and rising into the sky. There were dark, storm clouds behind the rainbows, and I seemed to be lost or not paying attention. Now in retrospect, it was as if with each rainbow my dream was shouting to me, "Hello!! Look at the rainbow!" ..and each way I turned there was again another rainbow sprouting. After the second, consecutive night of rainbow dreaming, I Googled "dream interpretation: rainbows" and the results were encouraging. Bogus or not, every source agreed that seeing rainbows in dreams is a sign of the storms passing and good things coming. Hurray!! Cross your fingers for me and pray it be true!! I don't know if the rainbow dreams were triggered by the storm of tears flowing from my eyes this month and longing for physical rain in this eternally sunny city of Los Angeles, but sometimes you just want the weather to reflect your inner feelings, and a good thunderstorm would be so soothing for me right about now. I haven't seen a rainbow for years I think, and they are a beautiful sight to behold.. especially the double rainbows that stretch across the flat, Southern Florida horizon. This past Sunday, I bought a few "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books to get inspired, and on the day I was googling rainbows I came across a caption in one of the books that read: "The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." by Dolly Parton (smart lady) ...Coincidence?? HA!! I THINK NOT!!

The third night was different. But equally or perhaps even more significant, was the dream I had of my mother. I don't recall the dream completely.. it was one of those hazy dreams, the kind you only remember segments of. My mom has been sick for the past couple years, and because of the nature of her condition, I can't really ask her for advice. But in this dream, she was talking to me in a poem. I wish I could remember all of it. It was beautiful. The gist of it was that I need to put my trust in God, a very characteristic thing for her to advise me since I was brought up on the Christian faith. I saw the poem in literary form as she spoke it to me, but the only phrase I remember clearly and upon which I awoke was: "Count your blessings, and God will take you to a place." Uggh! Count my blessings?! So cliche! "I always count my blessing Lord! ...it's not helping." ...and a place? It's not really "a place" I'm looking to find... or is it?? What the heck is "a place" supposed to mean? Go figure, or witness me try to figure it out as I go on an unusual quest in blog form! ..because again the confirmation came from another of my Chicken Soup books. As I read the introduction to "Tough Times, Tough People," Amy Newmark (publisher) states that there were so many story submissions that a companion volume book will be published by Christmas 2009 entitled, what? You guessed it! ..."Chicken Soup for the Soul: Count Your Blessings" ..Another coincidence?? I hope not..

So in what way will I go about "counting my blessings?" The usual way of creating "a list?".. BORING and not heartfelt enough! How can I really appreciate the good things in my life in a personal and vulnerable way without being too cliche? The most glorious way that came to mind was the following: Starting tomorrow Monday the 28th of September and each day thereafter, I will concentrate and expand upon one thing or person that I am truly grateful for, in no particular order. This will continue each day until the end of this year in what I call: BLESSING COUNTDOWN TO THE NEW YEAR. I'm not sure what it will accomplish, if many people will read it, or anyone for that matter. I do know that if anyone does read any portion of it, I hope they will get to know me a little better; and in an attempt to lift my spirits, that I will lift theirs as well. I'm sure that along the way I will be made aware the things I take for granted, and at some point I will feel like a big boob for feeling discontented with life. I also hope that the people I write about will read it and come to know how truly grateful I am for their presence in my life. Here goes nothing, or everything,.. I am hoping for a miracle or, at least, a change in perspective.