BLESSING COUNTDOWN TO THE NEW YEAR

September has been the month from hell! From my mom being rushed to the emergency room at the beginning of the month.. to sentimental heartbreak.. to the very acute, personal acknowledgement of financial havoc, which always leads to.. the realization of how far you are from your career goals... Ever feel like there's not a single thing going right for you?? Yeah.. that was me this month. I must thank God I still have good health.. but science confirms that health becomes endangered by low emotional states, i.e. depression, anxiety, stress. The Bible says in Proverbs that "hope deferred makes the heart sick," and in chapter 17 verse 22 it says, "A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." Well, let's just say that I have been suffering an intense laughter drought and cheer has been MIA, so in a desperate attempt to keep my bones from drying and in order to keep my good health, I am creating this blog.

This past week, in the climax of my agony, I had three significant dreams, three nights in a row. The first night I dreamed of rainbows, and again of rainbows the second night. They were everywhere, and they kept popping up from the earth and rising into the sky. There were dark, storm clouds behind the rainbows, and I seemed to be lost or not paying attention. Now in retrospect, it was as if with each rainbow my dream was shouting to me, "Hello!! Look at the rainbow!" ..and each way I turned there was again another rainbow sprouting. After the second, consecutive night of rainbow dreaming, I Googled "dream interpretation: rainbows" and the results were encouraging. Bogus or not, every source agreed that seeing rainbows in dreams is a sign of the storms passing and good things coming. Hurray!! Cross your fingers for me and pray it be true!! I don't know if the rainbow dreams were triggered by the storm of tears flowing from my eyes this month and longing for physical rain in this eternally sunny city of Los Angeles, but sometimes you just want the weather to reflect your inner feelings, and a good thunderstorm would be so soothing for me right about now. I haven't seen a rainbow for years I think, and they are a beautiful sight to behold.. especially the double rainbows that stretch across the flat, Southern Florida horizon. This past Sunday, I bought a few "Chicken Soup for the Soul" books to get inspired, and on the day I was googling rainbows I came across a caption in one of the books that read: "The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." by Dolly Parton (smart lady) ...Coincidence?? HA!! I THINK NOT!!

The third night was different. But equally or perhaps even more significant, was the dream I had of my mother. I don't recall the dream completely.. it was one of those hazy dreams, the kind you only remember segments of. My mom has been sick for the past couple years, and because of the nature of her condition, I can't really ask her for advice. But in this dream, she was talking to me in a poem. I wish I could remember all of it. It was beautiful. The gist of it was that I need to put my trust in God, a very characteristic thing for her to advise me since I was brought up on the Christian faith. I saw the poem in literary form as she spoke it to me, but the only phrase I remember clearly and upon which I awoke was: "Count your blessings, and God will take you to a place." Uggh! Count my blessings?! So cliche! "I always count my blessing Lord! ...it's not helping." ...and a place? It's not really "a place" I'm looking to find... or is it?? What the heck is "a place" supposed to mean? Go figure, or witness me try to figure it out as I go on an unusual quest in blog form! ..because again the confirmation came from another of my Chicken Soup books. As I read the introduction to "Tough Times, Tough People," Amy Newmark (publisher) states that there were so many story submissions that a companion volume book will be published by Christmas 2009 entitled, what? You guessed it! ..."Chicken Soup for the Soul: Count Your Blessings" ..Another coincidence?? I hope not..

So in what way will I go about "counting my blessings?" The usual way of creating "a list?".. BORING and not heartfelt enough! How can I really appreciate the good things in my life in a personal and vulnerable way without being too cliche? The most glorious way that came to mind was the following: Starting tomorrow Monday the 28th of September and each day thereafter, I will concentrate and expand upon one thing or person that I am truly grateful for, in no particular order. This will continue each day until the end of this year in what I call: BLESSING COUNTDOWN TO THE NEW YEAR. I'm not sure what it will accomplish, if many people will read it, or anyone for that matter. I do know that if anyone does read any portion of it, I hope they will get to know me a little better; and in an attempt to lift my spirits, that I will lift theirs as well. I'm sure that along the way I will be made aware the things I take for granted, and at some point I will feel like a big boob for feeling discontented with life. I also hope that the people I write about will read it and come to know how truly grateful I am for their presence in my life. Here goes nothing, or everything,.. I am hoping for a miracle or, at least, a change in perspective.