The Art of Acting: "All the World is a Stage"

It has been said that we are all actors playing our part on the stage of life, and there is much truth in this statement. We all have played a supporting role when it comes to family and friends as we witness their triumphs and failures and stand by their sides through the passing of time. We have all at one time or other played the villain when we have unintentionally or purposely hurt someone. We have all, whether consciously or unknowingly, been the antagonist, playing opposite someone else's agenda and sometimes changing the course of their life forever. Often we are only guest stars, shining shortly but significantly in a person's experience. Other times, we are just day players, in and out of touch with someone we will never cross paths with again. And, of course, we are all the protagonists of our own lives.

All of us, wear facades to hide our feelings and protect our fragile hearts. All of us have at one time acted one way when feeling another, whether it was to avoid confrontations or in order not to hurt a dear one's feelings. Hopefully, most of the time, the way we act reflects our true nature, and I think the majority of people out there have the freedom and confidence to be themselves if at least with those close to them. Another factor is environment. People will not act the same way they do with friends at leisure as they do with coworkers in a business setting. There is an unspoken code of conduct for many of life's activities that are simply common sense and automatically understood and executed. Yes, in everything we do, we choose how we present ourselves and how we respond to others; essentially, we act.

Taking it a step further, people can create plots and story lines and put on an act, a show to convey a message... a message we all can relate to because we all are... actors. Acting is the expression of life. It is how we communicate and co-exist... we breath, we speak, we move, we give and we receive. Acting, as an art form, is a visual and audio depiction of this. As now in modern society, the dramatic arts are mostly used for entertainment purposes and have developed into a multi-billion dollar industry, acting also has almost always been an effective means of teaching lessons and instilling underlying moral values. For some reason, we tend to be blind in our own situations; but when it is put right in front of us in the circumstances of others, we see more clearly and are able to acquire a more unbiased perspective. I know I've seen plenty of movies and shows that have touched me and have made me want to be better, dream bigger, and be more appreciative of the blessings God has given me. This is one of the reasons I decided to have an acting career... to perhaps be able to give that same inspiration to others as well.

Other than the emotional stimulus and social contribution of acting, acting is just plain fun! How great is it to go to work and do something ridiculous, have a blast and get paid for it!! Yes, I could be making more (because I'm obviously not a superstar, yet ;) and I could work in other field in which I could be equally good or better at... but I thoroughly enjoy being a nurse on Monday, CSI lab technician on Tuesday, a club-goer on Wednesday, and maybe a villager or a Greek goddess on Thursday or Friday. I can't wait to have an actual role so I can develop a character and bring her to life in a real and meaningful way.

To make someone cry, to make someone laugh, to help someone let go and forgive, or to encourage someone not to give up on their dream... What an incredible honor! An honor I hope someday is bestowed upon me.

"To be or not to be..." an actor... I am :)

Dance

The movie footloose conveyed a timeless message in one of the best ways in its premise of the biblical truth: "There's a time to dance." Dancing is a marvelously diverting pastime, a healthy outlet for release of tension, and a beautiful art. Watching a skilled dancer is indescribable, but the viewer can sometimes almost feel like they are dancing with them. For anyone who enjoys it, there's is nothing like the adrenaline rush of dancing as your body moves precisely with each beat and in perfect rhythm with a given tune. As an artistic person, I personally think that music, singing, dancing, and acting have always gone hand in hand... a concept especially evident in old classic Hollywood movies and in famous musical plays. Dance is the highest form of body language in thought-out expression and purposeful intention.

Growing up, I went to a Jewish messianic synagogue (basically Christian Jews), and dance was often incorporated in the worship. I was part of the dance team for about five years. Though I never took traditional dance classes as a child, I always appreciated the various kinds of dance. Once, in high school during a talent show, a couple danced an intense and flashy salsa routine with flips, dips, and crowd-pleasing, complicated turns. I had never seen anything like it. Since then it stayed in the back of my mind. A couple of years later, when the opportunity presented itself, I started taking salsa lessons. I've taken them on and off for years now and it is always a blast. Of course, in this hip-hop culture, urban dance is a big area of interest for me though I haven't had the time to invest in it yet. When I can, I plan on learning a lot more of it. I definitely want to learn tap dance, ballroom, and jazz as well for theatrical purposes as well as for fun.

There is certainly plenty of room in dance for the individual, but I think dance is at its best when it is presented as a team effort. There is nothing like a couple dancing in graceful sync with each other exuding magically intoxicating chemistry... and it is a delightful and riveting treat for the eyes to see an extravagantly choreographed piece involving a larger group of people. Some shows and movies have become famous and are remembered for the scenes in which even up to a hundred people move together to create an intensely magnificent dance sequence!

Dance is the highest form of celebration. When you can't helped but to tap your foot, clap your hands, and start moving and grooving to the music... then you know that you're really in party mode, and you're loose enough to feel complete joy and happiness and express it to the fullest!

Thank you God for music, song, and dance. What a dynamic trio :)

My Voice

I am a singer. As a child, I grew up singing to Disney classics like Sleeping Beauty and Snow White and Cinderella. When I was a little girl, I would listen to my sister Monica sing when she still lived with us before getting married. She had such a sweet gentle voice, like a songbird. Later on, when I was about 8, The Little Mermaid hit theaters, with Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin following shortly thereafter. Yep, Disney did inspire a lot of music in me those days. Going to church on Sunday mornings and joining with voices in congregational Praise and Worship was also the norm for me. But like most musically oriented people, I think I was just born with a tendency to sing. I would sing in the shower, in front of the mirror, along with the radio and tapes, and pretty much everywhere. During my adolescence, Mariah Carey had become a huge success with her voice that was like no other. Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, and Jaci Velasquez also set the standard for amazing vocals during that time. Those were the vocal guidelines that I taught myself to follow. I could sing like any of them, for real tho... not like the crazies that go to American Idol and think they're great, but really suck LOL! However, always a bit insecure as a kid, I never openly pursued singing in front of large crowds or purposely showed off in front of peers, and when I did, I didn't seem to get much enthusiastic encouragement from anyone besides my family members. All excuses aside, I suffered from severe stage fright. I knew I could sing my heart out and kick major ass and that I had a special gift, but every time I would stand up to sing in front of people, I would get extremely nervous. My voice would be shaky and crack during the best and most challenging parts of the song. I didn't know why this happened to me, and it seemed like something I just couldn't control. I went through school listening to others sing, and knowing I could sing just as good or better was so frustrating because I simply didn't have the guts to get up and do it too. Weird huh? ...That God would give a gift like that to someone like me? ...and with a confidence problem like that? In high school, my choir teacher loved me... that's when I started to open up more. The other students in the class were impressed as well, but that was already Senior year. When I graduated, I moved to Virginia. I forced myself to join the church choir in order to get out of my shell a little more, and it worked. Soon, I was singing solos and receiving compliments from many people. I remember the first time I sang a difficult Mariah Carey Christmas song and hit every single note perfectly. The rush was so intense, and it was pure joy! On another occasion, I sang a Whitney Houston gospel song. With each song, it became easier and easier to keep control of my nerves and my vocal chords. I became much more comfortable with performing. I decided openly what I always knew in my heart, but didn't think I could do until then... I wanted to be be a performer; I wanted to be an entertainer. I moved back down to Florida to Orlando to study music at UCF. Instead, I ended up studying audio engineering at Full Sail, a well-known entertainment industry school. When I finished, I decided to move to NYC to pursue acting and music. Various circumstances eventually led me here, to California.

Throughout my life, I have dabbled here and there: I have written a few songs, I have learned the basics of piano, attempted to pick up guitar, and I have even recorded a couple of tracks in a professional studio. The last few years, I have focused the majority of my efforts on acting, but I have not forgotten my first love, my voice. Sadly, my voice is out of shape right now, but I know the awesome potential that is still very present there. In recent months, the desire to sing again, and this time to the utmost excellence, has been sparked again. I am determined to train my voice better than ever before and begin performing somehow somewhere, even if it is in the smallest of venue. I also intend to use it as a competitive edge in getting an agent and booking acting roles that incorporate and require musical ability. I pray that God will give me another chance, because when I sing, and especially when I hit that high, high note perfectly and with power, I feel alive and radiant. I really feel like I'm flying high. I truly hope, as I always have deep down inside, that someday... I can share my talent with the whole world.

Music

Music is food for the soul. I'm sure someone has already said that; nevertheless, it is true. Music is one of God's most wonderful gifts to humanity; it is His Breath that fills the air as it flows through different instruments' notes, even through our own vocal chords. What cannot be fully expressed in words can be easily conveyed through a heartfelt melody. Even the most extensive and eloquent vocabulary, though beautiful, cannot capture the essence of emotion and feeling the way music can. It transcends language barriers, social, religious, and political differences, frames of time, and speaks to people of all ages as it delivers it's particular message in waves of sound... much like color tells it's tales in specific wavelengths of light. It is irresistible to the ear and comforting to the spirit as each individual finds the song that resonates within them, a song that parallels their experience and vibrates to their same tune. Whether skilled in music or not, everyone participates in this awesome occurrence of life. The musician expresses his or her story through musical notes and finds release, relief, and realization in creating. The listener can relate to a piece of music, approve it for himself, and feel consoled and validated in their stance as they discover a shared emotion or circumstance with the artist. I believe it is the most straightforward form of communication... This is the miracle of music. When it sounds a certain way, it can be taken only at face value... in other words, music can't fake a smile. If it's sad, it sounds melancholic; if it's joyful, it sounds triumphant; if it's coming from an angry and frustrated place, it simply sounds that way... There is no need for interpretation of sound. Music binds us together, defines generations, shapes cultures, reconciles the past and the present, and gives us hope for the future.

Music has always been a big part of me. As a singer and someone who loves to dance, I have always appreciated the art of music, and I enjoy almost all genres of it. Ever since I can remember, I've been a music aficionado to the point of sneaking behind my mom's back as a child to listen to the radio behind close doors (she was very religiously conservative when I was growing up). I think it's part of what made me a dreamer to. I would listen to music and envision things I'd like to experience and places I'd like to go. Whenever I was feeling any particular way, there was always a piece of music that could express it perfectly. It could always help me relax and revamp, vent my frustration or anger, or assist me in wallowing in depression and despair during a much needed pity trip, LOL! On the other end, music can lift my spirits like nothing else can. Even in times when I have been the most down, a good song can make me smile, laugh, jump around like a mad person, and forget everything else if just for a moment. Music alleviates discouragement, provides a temporary but heavenly escape from sorrow, and even serves as a permanent anecdote to disappointment. It inspires some of the most glorious feelings in people and sooths and smooths out tensions. Music is the wings we fly with. It allows our hearts to soar up to incredibly elating heights, and also helps us assimilate the darkness we may face when we go through our valleys in a healthy way. It is an intrinsic part of our beings, to the smallest atom that constitutes every fabric of life. What if birds never sang, and grasshoppers never chirped, and water never trickled, and trees never swayed in the wind? I am convinced this world would be a dreary and tormented place without music... one of its greatest and priceless treasures.

Apple Pie

It's the first day of the last month of the year!! Time has flown!! I think I did well this year. I could have done better, but I did vastly more than I did in most past years. At the beginning of 2009, I joined AFTRA which was great... It's one of the things that kept me working all year. I also took three acting classes to build skills and my resume. I got head shots that I'm happy with, and I've been really disciplined about working out and getting viciously fit. I started this blog, which has helped me grow more than I thought it could. I haven't been that steady with it lately, but hopefully this month I can redeem myself.

A little over a week ago, I went to Vegas with friends for the weekend on a party bus. It was super fun, except for the part where I got sick and lost my voice on the way there. Despite my symptoms, I got some cold medicine and made the best of it. I had a great time drinking bomb mojitos at a hip downtown lounge and hitting up the strip later until 3am. My cold carried into the work week right before Thanksgiving, but even with a runny, gooey nose I took advantage of the abundance of work. Then, when I was wrapped on Wednesday afternoon, I joined the herd of procrastinators at the grocery store to get the ingredients I needed for Thanksgiving grub the next day. On Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, I spent the whole day cooking! I helped roast the turkey, prepared a Bolivian dish, made salad, and last but not least, baked an apple pie from scratch!! I pieced two recipes together I found on the Internet. I rolled the dough, peeled and sliced the apples, made the sauce, and baked it all into the most yummy apple pie I've ever had. I am not exaggerating. I was really nervous that it wasn't gonna turn out right, especially the dough, since I've never made dough before. But it was so delicious, and everyone who ate it confirmed it! In good tradition, we had leftovers of the huge meal for days after :D I LOVE Thanksgiving leftovers! Over the holiday, I had a lot of down time, and I purposely didn't go anywhere for three days, and definitely not on Black Friday! I tried as much as possible to relax and unwind, and it was wonderfully pleasant.

Today, I worked on the show "The Mentalist" all the way in San Pedro. It was a nice being back to work after the five days of chillin' at home. I still was coughing a little bit, but I finally have my singing voice back... So I was singing to my tracks in the car all the way back from San Pedro which is about an hour and a half away during rush hour traffic!! I hate loosing my voice when I get a cold.. It's so frustrating when I want to sing along to a song I like and can't!! For a couple days there I sounded like a old man with a raspy voice, LOL! Soooo... among all these recent adventures of the last week or so, I am most thankful for having my voice back :) I will be singing all week and exercising it back into shape!! My mouth watering apple pie follows at a close second ;)

Happy 1st of December everybody!

Defeating acne and Learning to Love Myself

As I went through puberty in junior high, and throughout high school, I experienced the occasional breakout, generally around the time of my menstrual cycle each month. It wasn't too bad; in fact, I think it was pretty normal for that age. It wasn't until after I graduated high school and turned around twenty that I began suffering from a serious problem with acne.

It was so bad. I don't know if it was due to emotional stress, hormonal changes, or what, but I became very miserable. There were times my face was filled with bumps and was super pink and red. I remember feeling desperate for a solution. I must have tried every product on the market. I spent hours reading about it on the Internet. I learned about what acne was and reasons for why it may be caused, and I researched all sorts of different approaches to treating it and controlling it, and I continually regained hope every time I came across a claim that promised to cure it. Often I would try something new, and just as it seemed to be clearing my face, my acne would suddenly flare up again, and usually, worse than before. It was a vicious cycle; I would repeatedly become elated about finding something that appeared to be working for me, only to be let down once more. Eventually, I became so hopeless that I went through a deep depression for almost a year.

During the lowest point of that year, all I wanted to do was sleep. I hated looking at myself in the mirror because I felt so ugly. I never wanted to go out, and I would always wear my hair down to cover my face because I was ashamed of it. A few times at the dinner table, my nephew would innocently ask, "Becky, why do you have so many pimples?" The whole table would fall silent, and my embarrassed sister would then scold him. I would constantly try to brush it off by making jokes and referring to myself as "pizza face" or other things of that nature. My self esteem was on the floor. I remember once, and I will never forget that incident... I just wanted to die. I cried and cried on my bed and told God I didn't want to live looking like that anymore. It was afternoon, and I fell asleep sincerely not wanting to wake up again. I had an experience so extremely vivid. I felt my spirit detaching from my body, and I heard a billowing voice (I know it was God) asking "Is this really what you want?" But the voice was not gentle or friendly; it was a disappointed and stern voice that was holding me accountable to my decision. I really believe the power of free will is strong enough to make a decision like that. It freaked me out sooo much that I immediately woke up and repented like crazy. I have never ever wished to die again. It was the one and only time. I think that moment was the turning point of my situation, because I realized that there was so much I wanted to live for and I knew this temporal trial wasn't worth giving up everything else for.

While going through all of this, I also developed a very destructive habit. Whenever I'd have a blackhead or whitehead, I would pick at it to pop it. If I couldn't pop it easily, I would pick at it harder, squeeze it, scratch it, and dig my nails into it until I would damage the surrounding skin and sometimes even until it bled. I wouldn't stop until I got the black or whitehead out. I was frantic and so frustrated. The only thing it would do was leave a horrible red mark and sometimes a scar that wouldn't fade for a long time. It also unnecessarily spread bacteria causing even more breakout. I discovered later that this is a form of self mutilation. Though I have never purposely cut myself nor have done any of that with malicious intention, it was still hurting to me and unloving towards my body which is a temple of God. Because of this, now I have a sensitive spot in my heart towards people that compulsively hurt themselves.

This is all very personal, but I share it because it has made me more compassionate and understanding of people's self-image and self-confidence issues and appreciative of my own self-value. Beauty is not merely skin deep... It is way more profound than anything physical. I am convinced that many outer physical conditions are a reflection of turmoil within and can be linked to emotional and mental stress and negativity. As I continue to mature, I have strived to become more peaceful, forgiving, to cling to my faith adamantly, and to let go of anger and bitterness in order to enjoy the Gift of Life to its fullest. It is worth it in order to preserve health and happiness.

Gradually, I have overcome the need to pick at my skin, and by God's Grace, my skin has vastly improved. I get zits here and there, but it's not the tragedy that it once used to be... especially now that I am sure of who I am in Jesus. I also haven't again felt as hopeless as I did that year, and I have been through many ups and downs since then. If anyone reading this has struggled with acne and the feelings of shame it causes, know that you are precious regardless of it and you will not have to deal with it forever. It will pass. Please, DON'T pick at your skin!! ...no matter how tempting it may be, it could leave unwanted scars. Also, instead of obsessing over products and potential cures, pursue stillness and quietness of mind and spirit. Love and treasure yourself and pamper your skin which is your largest organ... And above all, trust that your Creator can adjust the functions of your body so that it performs the way it was designed to... You are worth it to Him. I mean that from the bottom of my heart <3>

Thank You Lord for healing of spirit, soul, mind, and body.

The Obliteration of Mount Disgusting!

One of the highlights of my week was popping the evil, massive zit that appeared out of nowhere on my face. On Sunday morning (the 8th of November) I noticed a red spot on my left cheek. I knew it was gonna be a big pimple, but I had no idea it was gonna be a bitch!! LOL! When I awoke to go to work on Monday, it had already become a conspicuous mound underneath my skin. My concealer couldn't even conceal it. It was dark red in it's depth and pink all around it's center fading into the surrounding skin. On Monday night, I was sure that by the next day it would surface into the usual pus-filled pustule, at which point it would easily pop during my daily ritual wiping with astringent. Boy was I wrong. On Tuesday it was the same red mound, and the infection I knew was in there, was so deep underneath the layers of skin that I couldn't even tell where the middle of it was. However, I kept on assuming the same thing each night: "Tomorrow morning it will have surfaced and I will rid myself of it!" Nope! It was like a creature with a personality was growing on my face, and it taunted me viciously every time I looked in the mirror. There's was no way to ignore it. It was so big and colored in contrast to my otherwise clear complexion, that whenever I looked at myself it was impossible for my gaze not to be immediately drawn to it. By Thursday, it was still the same, and it seemed to have gotten bigger. Not only was it harassing me visually, but it had also become very painful to the touch. When any form of pressure was applied to it, it felt like a needle pinching into my cheek muscle. The make-up artist on set that day, graciously tried to cover it up at my bidding, but even his professional make-up didn't prevail much in disguising the nasty fiend. He suggested that I steam it at home with a damp towel heated in the microwave to open up the pores and cause the underlying infection to rise to the surface. I couldn't wait to get home to proceed in following his instructions. I got home late that night, and though I was tired, I placed a towel dampened with the hottest water I could bear on the cyst several times. "Aaaaaah.... Surely tomorrow a whitehead will have formed and I will pop it without mercy!!" I happily thought to myself. On Friday morning I arose to the horror of the same stubborn, gigantic bump on my face! Unbelievable!! I don't think I've ever had a zit this bad, and trust me... I've had zits! I went to work on "Melrose Place" and thank God my friends were there to make light of it and make me laugh about it... but now, I was DETERMINED. During lunch I googled "how to draw a zit to the surface." I read all sorts of advice on the subject. I came across the hot damp towel trick several times, but it obviously hadn't been enough for this particularly bazaar and unpleasant occasion. Two suggestions seemed promising to me. The first was the use of hydrogen peroxide. One lady enthusiastically assured that applying hydrogen peroxide with a cotton ball to a zit for 15 or more minutes would cause it to come to a head. Their was a successful reply to her comment from someone who had tried it. Another website article stated that to differentiate between a zit and a boil, one should apply hydrogen peroxide in the same manner. If it was a zit, a whitehead would appear and it would begin healing. If it was a boil, nothing would happen. The second suggestion that seemed wise, was to apply a warm saltwater mixture to it with a cotton ball for the same amount of time. The salt would dry the pimple out and draw the infection to the surface. OK... So I got home on Friday night and applied hydrogen peroxide to it for 20 minutes. I saw a whitehead slightly appear, but it was still too deep and too faint to pop. I went to bed confident that on Saturday morning the whitehead would be full and ready to pop. UGGGGH... Let me tell you.. On Saturday morning there was no visible whitehead, and I was so frustrated I was the one about to burst instead of the pimple!!! First thing I did, while still in my pj's, was apply another cotton ball drenched in hydrogen peroxide to it for 15-20 minutes. Then I made the mixture of hot saltwater and applied that to it with a cotton ball for another 15-20 minutes. Finally a whitehead was clearly visible, but it was still too deep and painful to pop. So I reluctantly let it be. Half way through the day, I was in a dreary and lethargic mood. I realized that I was miserable and depressed by "Mount Disgusting" that had emerged on my cheek. I realized I had to get rid of it or else I wouldn't be able to get anything else done. I went into the bathroom and looked at the faint white center of the festering mountain of a zit, and I grabbed the towel I had used the night before. Now dry, I wet it with the hottest water that poured forth from the faucet and pressed it against my cheek. I could feel the zit burning. Then, as I gently pressed down on its sides, the whitehead in the center began surfacing more and more. I had read on the internet about using a pin to puncture a small hole into a pimple in order to drain it; so I disinfected a safety pin with 91% alcohol and stuck its spiky, sharp tip into the center of the whitehead only enough to create a tiny opening. A little bit of the white juice oozed out, so I grabbed the towel, wet it again in steamy, scalding water, and placed it on the zit to help open up the pore. I did that a couple times... then I squeezed... POP!!!! Part of the white juice spattered out!!! But I knew there was more of the nasty infection deeper inside... So I continued to squeeze and press against the sides of the zit harder. I was tense, with the muscles of my face clenched, scared that it would hurt; but suddenly, with rocket force, out gushed the rest of the pus and the solid little piece that was buried so deep in my skin too!!! Then it bled a little which confirmed that all the junk was completely out. OMG!!! What a relief that followed!! No more pain in my cheek; and with the iceberg, that was so large underneath the surface of my skin, now removed, my cheek was soft and already felt like it was beginning to smooth. I was so happy that I went downstairs and mock cried to Krystle. I had triumphed at last over the loathsome outbreak, and my pore had been rescued and cleansed out at last from the repulsive overgrowth of bacteria that had been trapped inside it. I finished the ordeal by smearing a good amount of Neosporin on the small open wound as I giggled with delightful glee at my glorious triumph. There is a mark on my cheek where the zit was, but it is healing and fading quickly now. I vow that I shall never let a zit inhabit my face for that long ever again!! And now that I know the ultimate zit obliterating technique, I don't think I will have a problem ;D